Stupid Stories

I Wish TV Writers Would Do Some Research! The Blacklist On NBC

About a year ago now, the Mrs. and I stopped paying for cable and started streaming everything through the interwebs. Got a Google Chromecast, but found out the sound goes through the HDMI port - but not on my TV! Too old. But I digress. Finding TV shows to watch isn't that hard, but finding good TV shows, that's another story. We figured we'd give The Blacklist a try. Although it's a pretty good show, episode 1 season 1 starts off with something that made me question whether the writers did even an ounce of police procedure research - or rely on the dullness of your typical American couch potato. Well, there you go.

The first scene of the show builds a lot of suspense with James Spader (formally of the movie Stargate though you wouldn't get that right away since he looks a hundred years older than the beginning of that franchise) - goes into some FBI building to turn himself in by giving identification to the security person. Spader takes a kneel on a solid metal FBI emblem on the floor with his fedora carefully placed on his suspicious abandoned baggage.

They did a fairly good job on the armed security uniforms. The guy on the left who's obviously the keymaster with his one key. No thumb retention on the holsters, and if Garry Coleman was still with us, I'd swear he'd be the guy to the right exclaiming "What you talkin' bout Spader?!"

As you can see, these rent-a-cop actors surround Spader on the metal seal and hold him at gunpoint until they figure out that his posture maybe says he's surrendering himself. But after the Matrix, you can never be too sure. But here's my issue:

I've done some investigation of my own and see that if the poop did in fact hit the fan... With police department's boasting 8% on target in police shootings - and much less with armed security who probably doesn't do any kind of target practice.... Here's what happens:

1. Baseball cap shoots the smaller lady in the forhead
   
2. Although #6 finds a way to hide from the camera shooting him, the keymaster puts one in his skull
   
3. Mohawk is a little short, so his recoil sends his shot into the head of lucky number 7
   
4. Baseball cap Sr. is the only one who made it to his one day of training and not only does he not kill someone from his softball team, but he also doesn't eat a bullet
   
5. The smaller lady shoots baseball cap jr. in the gut - he survives but is on administrative leave
   
6. The hiding man clips the keymaster in the shoulder - he lives and uses his right hand to unlock his diary with his key
   
7. And lucky number 7 here leans into his shot a little, but because Spader is on a 600 pound chunk of metal, his round ricochets right into THE THROAT OF NUMBER 3!!
   

Spader lives, picks up his fedora, and calmly walks out the door.

There's a reason cops yell "CROSSFIRE!" to eachother in compromising situations. So if you learned anything at all tonight, if you hear cops yelling "CROSSFIRE" make sure you're not in it!

---

Comments