Stupid Stories

What The Fruck Is Happening Here Sprint?

Last Edited: 2014-08-25 20:54:40

First thing's first - I left Sprint. So I already have a predisposition to not liking them. I'll toss in that story quick. Two reasons:

They were line-stingy...

I had 3 lines already and wanted another one. Wasn't a lot to ask for. This was a while ago but I'm not sure I'll ever drop it. So another line would have been $10 a month. They said that they could not give me another line because of the plan I was on and couldn't give me a different plan because I was still in the contract. Something. Didn't make much sense to me.

28 day billing cycle...

I don't know if they still do it, but a few companies do this to squeeze 13 payments into a year. And the best thing is you never notice. I wondered why my service kept getting shut off for non-payment. It's because my pay date kept getting sooner and sooner. I'd always [need to] turn my service back on and they would always charge me extra to turn it back on. Bastards! So if you have Sprint, check out how many times you pay them in a year - don't let them sneak that up on you.

What was I saying... oh yeah:

When these commercials first started to air I never knew that they were literally a "family". But then I caught number 2 telling the hamster that the hamster was his "frather". Let me get this straight:

The Mom

This is the mom? So she is married to the hamster in the ball. And she's the mom of 2, 3 and 4. Although 2 looks like he's well into his 30s. Which would seem that she and the hamster gave birth to 2 when she was about 4? Wait a second... Hamsters live like 3 years. So how does a <3 year old (that made a heart!) hamster have a 30 year old son? Magic hamster.

The First Born

Right, so the 30 year old that lives at home. He calls the hamster his "frather" so he must be the first born. He has no problem mashing words together. Is that a blazer or a cardigan?

The Other Son

I don't understand why this kid doesn't get more air time? He seems pretty normal. I think he's texting or facebooking or something. Most likely with a Sprint device. Since the rest of the commercial really didn't have much to do with cellular service or devices, you'd think they'd focus on that one a bit.

The French Daugther

I think this is the youngest of the kids. Now the hamster has red hair (fur) and the mom has red hair. Why do the kids either half black or blonde hair? Does this answer some questions? Are they step-kids? Did mom have the kids with an ex husband when the hamster-dad was a baby? That was only like 2 years ago. Why does she speak French? Why do I speak German? Why does the hamster understand her. And what's with the birds? I don't know about you but it made me want to sing zip-a-dee-doo-da - remember?

Sidebar: I always thought the blue birds flying around a character meant that the character was drinking. I'm not sure why that is. Something regressed, I'm sure. Moving on...

Hamster-dad

Why do we put hamsters in plastic balls? So they don't go live under the fridge or in the walls, right? But this is no ordinary hamster. He speaks English, understands (at least) French, he's married to a human, has three step-kids and doesn't even have breakfast. Why the ball? As sophisticated of a rodent he is, you would think he wouldn't want to poop on the table - but has to. I don't think he'd be to happy rolling off the table to what to us would be the equivalent of a 5 story fall whilst trapped in a Ford Fiesta.

Gor-don

Not entirely sure, where Gordon here plays a role, I think he's a friend of 2, but 2 doesn't like him. Or at least 2 didn't invite him over when the mom and hamster went out for tacos (I'm assuming it was Tuesday). He just shows up. But seriously, I think he's the most normal of them all.

There is also a grandpa who is African-American but is only in a couple commercials (in my market). Maybe we'll see more of him. Maybe he'll sing zip-a-dee-doo-da - that would be twist. Maybe he'll be drinking. I'm not sure. I just know one thing. Sprint.. get some helpth!!

What The Fruck Is Happening Here Sprint?

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